Last week hubby and I were talking about life, work, ideas, faith, and finances—you know, those conversations we’ve circled around and through for thirty-seven years. Is there anything new for us to discover pertaining to our relationship? Oh my, yes! Yes, indeed!
Recently hubby started working as a Project Consultant for a small but rapidly growing vinyl fence and patio cover business. A couple days ago at his request, in order to help him focus on the sales and design aspect of his responsibility, I stepped in to manage his appointment schedule. Although phone work is not my favorite occupation, I am very capable of and willing to provide this easement of his load. The data entry part is enjoyable to me, and the fact that no transportation is needed to get me to an office somewhere is a big plus, not to mention that I feel I’m contributing to the economic improvement of our household.
I used to have a job outside the home. Things happened that interfered with continuing—physical limitations to perform my tasks fully, and vehicle limitations to get me there and back again, the latter which also prevented me from actively pursuing employment with less physical stresses.
But being unemployed has burdened our already depleted financial situation sustained in the recession. And hubby has at times felt alone in carrying the load.
On the other hand I’ve been his best cheerleader and encourager, telling him often how much I appreciate his efforts in providing, and offering him little pep talks (as I’ve shared in previous posts), which he readily tells me he values. So in our conversation last week (before this new opportunity developed for me to assist him) I mentioned how pleased I am to be his ezer kenegdo. I’m sure I’d enlightened him on this terminology ages ago, but from the look on his face it was obvious a review was in order.
In Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul, John and Stasi Eldredge present the concept of Eve as ezer kenegdo to Adam. Ezer is one who is needed desperately. Kenegdo is one who comes alongside of another. The way I see it, it’s not about telling my husband how to pilot the boat—he does that very well; it’s about handing him his life jacket!
When I shared this with him, it was a spiritual “Aha” moment for my hubby. He had been thinking how helpful it would be if I could get a job, and then another thought hit him. One that he describes as a wave rushing through him, the kind of wave he experiences when his gift for spiritual discernment kicks in. He said, “What came to me was, ‘No, dude! Your role is to facilitate Anita’s ministering. Anita’s job is to minister, not to go out and make a lot of money. Your role is to make it possible for her to minister!”
With a jabra headset stuck in my ear and negotiating the CRM program, I am ministering first to my husband. I consider it a delightful serendipity of my ‘job’.